#why would the kids care if she has warts

[forestlion]

one truth about me is that when I watched nanny McPhee as a child, and they showed Emma Thompson be beautiful at the end. I thought.... he should've married her and not Evangeline lmaooo

[pendragonloki]

Why did JK rowling use owls anyway?

I get why they're meant to be familiars and historical they are associated with witchcraft and magic yes that makes sense congrats rowling you read a book about witches and yes all the other animal opinions are also familiar animals

Yes rowling very clever you get to choose one of the historical familiars of witchcraft very cool but heres the thing...

...They're not familiars?...

Like at all like within the context if the books and movies what do they do that's similar to witchcraft familiars?

Ok so the owls are the only one with a purpose that is society wide yes they are messenger, the famously nocturnal and slow birds yes lets use them. And the only other pet that has a use is

The chipr frogs? Is this the equivalent of parents buying their kids art supplies?

But like this is a serious wasted pontenial for the pets to actually be familiars and be apart of magic and spellcraft but they're not in the slightest we see them be used once

We only see them involved in magic once where ron turned his rat into a cup

(Which is really weird what scenario would you need this? And also we dont talk enough about how this is actually a person? Like this spell works on people?)

But yeah whenever i bring up that rowling should have used literally any other bird for messengers someone brings up the familiars arguement but this doesn't hold any water to me. Like they just aren't maybe if rowling tied the wand cores to the familiars like owl feather cores, or rat tooth, frog wart and cats hair ball or something would have been cool or if the pets somehow helped the wizards control their magic. But otherwise it doesnt add up

Rowling really should've used crows and or ravens they both have magic association, and if she was a good author would have also connected them to the deathly hallows with death playing a major role in the story.

They are also infinity more trainable than owls who i remember the story from the production of the first movie them being horribly untrainable like each owl could only learn 1 trick each. Crows are highly intelligent and recognise human faces imagine your post man couldn't recognise your face

And then theres the hidden aspect of it. You're telling me the muggles arent recognising the random snow or barn owl flying near their house semi consistently? Atleast with crows/ravens would blend in with cities and then pigeons would make even more sense.

Pigeons are super caring, they dont bite, they have historically been messengers and they're ancient, theyre the first and only birds domesticated and rowling saw their rich history and said "nah"

Owls are silent flyers so makes sense for a secret society but you know what doesn't blend in? A giant owl, people dont even think when they see pigeons or corvids. Plus if she chose pigeons she could have written that they're navigation is magic and muggles dont understand it.

If you have to use animals as messengers

(They dont need animals they have flying paper aeroplanes and can make flying notes)

Thanks for coming to my ted talk, rowling missed out on much better animals

[bloodyshadow1]

so x-men 97 ended a month or so ago, I just finished last week and wanted to compose my thoughts.

the Bad

the soap opera level nature of the show is back and I get why it's there, but damn I was sick of the relationship drama when I was a kid, now that I'm 30 and don't care about any of the pairings in the show it's even more annoying. Except Romy, I love them, but could have done without a second love triangle.

Roberto's character felt weird and should have either been cut or been more involved with the X-Men as the new guy. He only really interacts with Jubilee because they intended to make them a couple from the start. There were better ways without just making them a couple or projecting it so hard.

I think 2 episodes were bad, ep 4 and ep 6. I personally don't care for the Shia'r or Prof X. The Jubilee stuff was fine but felt like filler which isn't really needed for a 10 ep show. And I don't think Storm's story was done justice.

Storm was underused. She's my favorite character and had a story about being depowered and getting them back that I thought started strong but didn't live up to the hype. Then despite coming back she doesn't have much plot significance and is just a powerful member of the team. Maybe season 2 will change that and I'm jumping the gun, but it felt like a waste. '

Morph was cool and I'm happy they are nonbinary in this show despite the writers keeping it in the 90's timezone. Not a huge fan of their character still though, I thought they were more cool with their powers than interesting as a character. Hopefully that will change in season 2

Magneto's plan by the end made no sense to me by the end. I know he was angry and pushed too far once more, but killing 7 billion people, mutants included. Yeah he made an offer to the x-men, but there are still hundreds of mutants that survived Genosha and he's putting a target on their back and they will also die without power. and he has 3 people in an asteroid above earth, what is the plan for things to continue

Also Bastion's plan was good, but I don't agree with the whole, people's response to tragedy that they don't care about is apathy. it's a hard world, but people care far more than you might think. It felt poorly written, like the show wanted to make all humans monsters so that's what happened. If the plan was to destroy Genosha and then let Magneto do his thing to get people to hate mutants because of what he would do afterwards I would understand, but it wasn't.

The Good

Overall, the whole series is a good adaption of the 90's series, warts and all. The love triangle stuff is annoying, but part of the show so I accept it and even the dumb puns made me smile. But the fact that they aged it up worked amazing, they blended seamlessly to me.

The action and animation were perfect to me, crisp and clear and dynamic. It let the characters show off what they could do in ways the 90's show and their restrictions wouldn't allow them to.

I liked most of the characters, Storm is my favorite character, Scott is my second, and Kurt is in my top 5. I mention that Storm kind of shafted, but Scott and Kurt were allowed to shine.

Kurt and Rogue's relationship was great, I'm glad that the writers remembered they were adopted siblings, I wondered after ep 5 if they did, but I also think calling each other sister or brother in the ep would have been awkward. The way they interact in later eps was perfect to me.

I like that people kept tell Xavier to shut up because I don't like him as a character. He has done so much shit and is still considered a hero in the comics, it makes him at best a naive fool and at worse the real villain of X-Men.

I like that Cyclops was so much more than the block of wood a lot of the fandom and even some writers make him out to be. He's a complex character and it's good to see that not only a deep character like he's supposed to be, but a good hero and leader.

I also like how the Cable stuff was done. like it's rocky and quick because they only have 10 eps but it was nice to see since Cable never revealed himself as Scott's son in the original show.

I love that the show wasn't just another version of the wolverine show. I like the character, but he's been over used and makes his appearances over saturated. He still had a presence in the show, but it doesn't make him the main character while shutting down other characters.

I will always love the family aspect of x-men, angry and fighting but loving all the same.

8 episodes of the show were great and I loved them, I would recommend it to anyone.

Ep 5 was the standout, and amazing. I loved how Gambit was portrayed as sympathetic and a good person with his relationship with Rogue and accepted that she wanted to be with Magneto. It was great to see him being allowed to be a badass as a swansong, even if I think he'll be death in season 2

[overthinkingtaleblr]

Tell me more about your Acachalla parents hc pls?

My Acachalla Parents Headcanon Masterlist

I don't think you wanted me to answer like this, but I was excited to use this as a jumping-off point. I hope that's okay! This is a couple days late but I had so much to say ^^; there’s a chance I’m still missing stuff, and I mostly focus on their relationship!

When it comes to two quasi-immortals getting together in middle age and having to raise a bunch of children after collecting enemies like it was a hobby for most of their life… no one can beat the Acachalla Parents. Papa Acachalla with his murderous ex-gangs and ex-spouses, and Gertrude with her frequently changing identity as she hides from literal space cops. Between the two of them, it’s surprising that either of them wound up assumed to be the “wholesome” parent, since I’m not sure that’s actually possible for either of them. The best part about the energy they bring to this relationship is that they Both bring it together.

While I don’t know if they’re in love in canon, to me there is nothing that means more to me than these two entities of murder and chaos swooning over each other. There is no i can fix her, there is no i can make him worse, they like the other for who they are now. Warts and all… So how did we get here?

General Headcanons

Controversial of me to myself, but I’m not reviewing old videos for this and I’m barely looking at the wiki. When I say all of this is in my head, I mean that literally.

Billion Year War - Gertrude is one of many characters who does not appear during the BYW arc, even though Papa appears frequently. Since Papa was kind of the cause of the war, it’s possible that he finally managed to do something bad enough that she couldn’t excuse it anymore.

Crimes - Papa is known more for his criminal behavior, but Gertrude has been a menace. Being together didn’t mellow them out, it’s only made them worse. I say that with love.

Date Night - Part of the reason why the kids have so many unsupervised adventures is because the adults drop them off somewhere random and tell them to have fun so that they can have some peaceful hours to themselves. This often involves getting them distracted before leaving as quickly as possible since the faster kids can and will chase the car home if they weren’t up for the day trip.

Paranormal Visitors - Not every ghost at the Acachalla house is a stranger, and most of them are from the pasts of the parents. When the hauntings first started, they usually pretended like they had no idea as to what ghosts they had a history with would want with them. After multiple years of this and some establishment of trust, they concluded that their connection doesn’t matter, what does matter is keeping their family safe first and foremost. They still don’t bring the topic up, but they’ll actually argue with ghosts now for being petty. It also makes it easier to work with PIE.

Raising Monsters - I’m sure only one of them would even jokingly refer to the Acachalla children as monsters, and only two technically qualify, but still. There is no way that they’ve gotten their act together yet�� boy have they tried, but that just means they’ve failed. They’re not doing a bad job raising the kids overall, but they’re frequently overwhelmed and confused and there’s no guide for how to take care of your daughter who can turn into a demon or you son who claims to be a god. I think the chaos makes their organized moments all the more rewarding to Gertrude and Papa.

Relationship History HC

Crossing Paths in Cowboy Times

Gertrude is actually older than Papa by a lot, being a Gingarian alien. She arrived on the planet running from space police for crimes against her world that her family committed. She stayed flighty, moving from place to place on Earth to avoid being caught, and eventually finding herself in the middle of New Mexico during what would be come to be known as the “Wild West”

She intentionally chose a town that outlawed guns, knowing that she’d be able to crowbar anybody who aimed to do her harm and chose to work at a bank.

Papa Acachalla was running the Acachalla Gang while the real leader, his older brother, was dealing with a magical ailment no one understood. This was soon after he left his boyfriend to die when a heist went wrong, and he was having a really hard time keeping his head in the game. He probably would have lied about being sick if he wasn’t the only option.

Unsure who to bring with him with the list heavily exhausted, he decided to bring his younger cousin, Maxwell, allegedly to “get the kid some experience”. Real answer: he was out of options and desperate for an extra pair of hands. Maxwell trusted him, though.

Papa let Maxwell take the lead, borderline dissociating in the meantime while he wallowed in his own shame.

Gertrude, recognizing the Acachallas to be something that wasn’t human, mistook them for being apart of the police force she was running from. Taking advantage of the smaller one’s nativity, Getrude allowed him to come toward the money before bludgeoning his head in and threatening his partner.

Papa snapped back to reality in time to see what was about to happen, but wasn’t able to bring himself to warn Maxwell. He didn’t have the strength, physical or mental, to go up against this woman to get the kid’s body, either. Sputtering excuses, he turned and left when she told him to.

A diffferent group met the Sheriff at the town border a day later to pick up the body and take him home, though the woman who killed him was kicked out of town before they could ask for vengeance.

Though the local sheriff was happy to see the Acachallas leave them alone, Gertrude still got heavily chewed out for killing a child, especially in such a brutal manner. Not understanding where she went wrong, she sounded like a monster when pried for her thought process, making the Sheriff inclined to kick her out of the town. She was ready to go on the road again, anyways.

The Union of Acachallans in New Mexico started disappearing soon after this incident, the tragedy proving to be the last straw most of the inhabitants could take. Papa was left feeling solely responsible for the disintegration of both his metaphorical and literal family.

It wasn’t until years later that Gertrude came to understand how vulnerable humans are when they’re young, and this incident would start to haunt her as she realized she severely overreacted and someone died for it.

The first time the two met, they accidentally screwed over the other’s sense of normalcy and changed their life direction seemingly for the worst, all over a heist gone wrong… and they never even got the other person’s name.

First Connection

After almost two hundred years worth of downward spiraling between the both of them, Gertrude and Papa Acachalla truly met each other for the first time, entirely across the country from their initial interaction.

Papa didn’t jump around too much, it’s more like the world was moving too quickly around him. He entered and exited romances, he started working at a 7-11 when it first opened and found himself the manager and borderline owner just by being there, and he only got the house because he initially moved in with roommates who all left him. He had family in the area, but he never took the time to actually see them. He was drifting.

Gertrude on the other hand was rapidly oscillating from place to place, moving too quickly to really settle down anywhere. She would walk in, burn bridges, walk out. If her reputation in a cluster of towns got too high, she’d take a train to the next state and start over from scratch. Wasn’t just jobs and relationships, but her sense of self as well, Gertrude caught onto any new trend that passed her by, but got bored of it quickly. Part of her was only doing it to hide from the aforementioned space police, the other part of her was desperate for a sense of belonging.

So that’s how an overworked yet overpayed Papa Acachalla encountered an emo phase Gertrude in his 7-11.

I’m not entirely sure what happened next, but two things need to happen before Gertrude moves in with Papa. First and obviously, the two need to connect, actually communication with each other. The second is that Gertrude needs to encounter the space cop who’s been looking for her.

The way I’d suggest this is that Gertrude ends up trying to live inside the 7-11 without Papa noticing, he absolutely catches on like the second day but doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t care enough to bother.

The two eventually begin to chat from across the building, relating to each other a lot partially because of how secretive they both were being about their past. After a couple weeks, she basically became his unpaid front-desk buddy.

They’d sit in silence for most of the day, only really talking over meals. Sometimes Papa would order takeout if Gertrude mentioned being sick of noodle cups. They were beginning to get along.

After awhile of this becoming the new normal, the aforementioned Gingarian Space Cop (he’s an actual character, he’s named Agent Knock), comes in looking for someone of a different name, but it’s real obvious that Gertrude has been hiding since he came in.

Papa decides he’s siding with her over whatever galactic federation is in charge even if she WAS wrong and flaunts his metaphorical power as an Acachallan to get the Agent to leave.

Before feeling safe enough to be relieved as Agent Knock leaves, Gertrude realizes that Papa would technically be able to harbor her as a criminal. First thing she does when it’s all over is turn to Papa and ask if he had room for someone else in his house.

Again, overpaid, Papa doesn’t need a roommate financially. He does, however, live in a massive house that gets lonely, and he’s aware that Gertrude might just up and leave if the Agent comes back, so after a bit of waffling to tell himself that he’s not going soft, she’s just twisting his arm on the matter, he agrees to let her stay with him so long as she keeps her head down.

It’s not important for the list but Gertrude Does eventually kill Agent Knock good for her.

Adjusting to Domesticity

Two explicit criminals who previously incidentally ruined each other’s life— now living together under one roof, might fall in love.

Might have already fallen in love, but who’s keeping track.

Sadly for fanfiction tropes, there was very much not one bed in the house, so they wound up sleeping on different floors entirely in the beginning.

Gertrude hasn’t had a steady place to live in a long time. She keeps her belongings in one place so she can grab it all and leave at a moment’s notice if her good fortune suddenly sours. It isn’t that she distrusts Papa or what seems to be his kindness, but… it wouldn’t be the first time something didn’t work out for her.

The last time someone else lived in the house with him, Papa Acachalla was counting the days until they left and he’d have the freedom to do whatever he wanted with his own space. Now that they’re gone, nothing’s changed. Without having someone to interact with, the days began to blur together and nothing felt like it was worth doing.

Even just living together is enough to make life a little bit easier for both of them. Gertrude doesn’t realize it, but she’s stopping Papa from slipping into another stupor, and Papa is fully aware that his family reputation is keeping her safe.

It doesn’t take long for both of them to adjust to each other’s company, and when the children get added to the family dynamic as well, they grow closer as partners-in-crime (that crime is caretaking) as well.

As emotionally immature as they both can be, it isn’t the first time either of them had caught feelings like this. They’ve been burned before. With any luck, it’ll turn out okay this time around.

Optional: There is a chance that Billy and Sally entered Papa's life before Gertrude. I never considered it before now, but it would be very interesting for Gertrude to come in not just to Papa, but his adopted children as well. Lecture him for letting them get away with not eating their veggies.

Parenthood Attempt

Despite both of them having experience, to say either of them knew what they were doing when taking on the challenge of raising several children would be a lie.

Papa feels like people depending on him has only led to hurting them in the past, so he has a tendency to push the kids away, pretending like Gertrude is the only one who wants them there. If the kids ever claimed that Papa didn’t care about them, though, he would cry.

Gertrude tries her best to come off as responsible, but that’s because she knows they’re all human-ish. No matter how strong they seem, they will always be fragile compared to her. They won’t be able to survive forever, and she doesn’t know what injury might be dangerous enough to be their last, thus her protective parenting style.

Papa accidentally got Billy involved in a lot of stuff he was too young for and tried passing it off as after-school activities.

In fact, most of Papa’s group bonding activities are crime based… because the only other time he ever had to parent someone, his main interest was the gang Papa was in.

Gertrude genuinely thought Spencer was just low-maintenance until he one day vented about how much he felt like crap and she realized he was actively not taking care of himself and realized no matter how much he pushed away, he DID need her to make an effort.

Neither Gertrude or Papa know how to talk on the PTA without sounding absolutely insane, and both are fully aware that the other parents are counting the days until their kids all graduate.

If you asked if Maddie counted as one of their kids, Gertrude would explain that she was just a close friend who could be seen as a daughter if you really wanted, but surely she had other parents and they couldn’t just adopt someone illegally. Papa would think about it before going ‘sure, she’s one of ours’.

Johnny Ghost is an honorary Acachalla kid and almost had a stroke when he found out.

It’s mostly because he’s an ill-tempered orphan who frequents the house and can keep up with the chaotic energy of the kids and adults, and both the parents HAVE had to… well, parent him in a tense situation before. They’ve grown attached, he’s theirs now.

Addendum: ghost is not an orphan, he has a dad. He is so confused as to why they think he is an orphan but doesn’t want to tell them in case they decide the answer is to MAKE him an orphan.

Rapid Fire HCs

Gertrude proposed, but the rings are Papa’s. She used a random object as a stand-in for a ring since she didn’t know Papa’s ring size, and this gave Papa Acachalla time to tell his mother and for her to pass along his parent’s wedding rings like an heirloom. It was very touching for both of them.

If they didn’t accidentally screw over each other’s lives, they wouldn’t have gotten together. They both needed a hit to their pride to get the world into perspective. Before, Papa was too egotistical, and Gertrude was a little bit out of control.

Gertrude has a larger criminal record than Papa, but she lets Papa take the lead for larceny and stuff. Papa actually knows how to steal— Gertrude’s crimes are predominantly war crimes, planetary eviction, and murder.

Papa and Gertrude both like doing grand gestures, but they love the unplanned soft moments more. The tender moments. Their lives have been too action-packed to not appreciate the change in pace.

Sometimes shaving your husband’s back in a dark bathroom is a tender moment, idk.

Both have a skill-based preference when it comes to chores. Not because either are good, but more because there is one task they’re terrible at. Papa is a bit too experimental in the kitchen, and Gertrude mixes the wrong cleaning supplies. They’re happy to take the other responsibility if it means everyone in the house doesn’t die.

They keep secrets from each other, on purpose and on accident. When there are so many skeletons in your closet, it’s hard to know which ones should be dug up and which ones can stay. They’ve learned not to be too judgmental when the past gets dredged up.

Papa and Gertrude both come from absolutely massive families that they’ve been basically exiled from due to bad behavior.

Gertrude is on the space equivalent of a “no-fly list”, so any time they want to travel with her, they either have to fake her passport and identity… or find their own, unofficial methods.

Papa Acachalla is haunted by Jose Jose Jose Jose, who I like to see as an incredibly bitter ex. You’d think this would be difficult for Gertrude, but I think it’d be funnier if she and the vengeful spirit wound up besties.

On the other hand, Maxwell fucking hates Gertrude. Even if Papa didn’t recognize her from the incident, Maxwell did. It caused a bit of a relationship hiccup, but they worked through it.

Both Gertrude and Papa were disowned by their family after an incident that killed most of the ones they were close with, only difference is that Gertrude’s family still refuses to talk to her and Papa’s reconnected with his mother.

Papa has to do the taxes because last time he asked Gertrude to do it she told him she had a brilliant idea and explained tax fraud to him. He does not want to fight the IRS again, so he let her down gently.

An Alternate Understanding of their relationship is one that is more… “Should have been divorced a decade ago” but weirdly tongue-in-cheek and self-aware of the toxicity. I don’t like to do that one anymore because I prefer the conflicting tenderness of active criminals being caring and tender, but that read requires Papa to be genuine every time he says he doesn’t see the others as Family.

Songs and Why

- Tangled up by Caro Emerald (Remix)

“You’re quite the same | If love’s the game”

Yes, I was an animation meme kid growing up and this song has a soft spot in my heart now. I try to push it aside for these two, though. I want them to dance, and this song has a good beat!

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Bee Movie

According to all known laws of aviation... eh, forget it. You know the rest.

So uh... Bee Movie is surprisingly pretty good? Yeah, I know, I'm surprised too. I mean of course, Bee Movie is an Iconic Staple of Meme Culture and for good reason, its humor is just... probably some of the most insane shit out of Dreakworks ever (more on that in a bit). But it's also a pretty compelling roller coaster ride of a movie that held my rapt interest the whole way through???

So what's the story here? Barry B Benson is a bee who ventures outside the hive and meets a florist named Vanessa, whom he of course falls in love with (and she falls for him too, its fuckin weird man). Eventually, Barry discovers that humans make a profit off the backs of bees by selling their honey, so he decides to sue the entire human race. Yeah that's really the fuckin plot they came up with. It's fucking wild, man, from start to end.

Our characters here are just as wild to match that crazy ass plot. Barry is a snarky lil fella, but you can tell he cares about his... people? Bees? Idk man this movie has short circuited my brain. Anyway, Barry is a fun character to follow as our main. Vanessa is a little less developed and kind of all over the place personality wise, and well... she falls for a bee. Enough said. Barry's best friend Adam is cool, almost dies from stinging a guy, so that's fun. We also have Ken, Vanessa's ex-boyfriend who literally gets cuckolded by a bee this movie is actually insane.

The comedy here is just... ridiculous. Again, there's a reason why this movie has produced so many iconic memes. I cackled out loud at some of these jokes and references, many of which I imagine would probably go over a kid's head (the Sting and Ray Liotta jokes especially like... c'mon those are some deep cuts). It's kind of breaking the recent trend I've been noticing from Dreamworks where they're aiming down for a younger audience. Instead, Bee Movie harkens back to their earlier movies, aimed more at adults with blink and you miss them naughty jokes that are actually really funny here?

The animation is also like... insanely impressive for the time this came out? Some of the camera angles and movement on these bees is just... amazing? The flying scenes really make you feel like you're flying along with Barry, taking you through densely colorful and sometimes actually beautiful setpieces. I also enjoyed the worldbuilding inside of the hive and all of the little devices they use to produce honey. I feel like this movie is doing what Antz was trying to do, but accomplishing it so much better, with way less Rancid vibes than Antz had.

The music is also fairly solid, not as many pop songs as you'd expect from a memey movie like this, but the ones that are very are pretty good and backed by a competent score. I think my biggest gripe with this film is... well, it's a little all over the place and out of focus? Like one minute it's about Barry struggling to figure out what he wants to do with his relatively short life, then its about him falling for Vanessa, then its about suing the humans, then its about restarting pollenation so the entire planet won't shrivel up and die? (yeah did I mention this film has an environmental message?) Really, this movie is kind of just... a jack of all trades and a master of none? All of its various plots are ok, but none of them are standout fantastic. It's just... a little messy??

But really, I did enjoy myself watching this movie. I didn't think I was going to, because its been years since I've seen it and well, the internet rags on it all the time, but it's surprisingly well-made! It really is Dreamworks at their most Dreamworks (warts and all) and I think that's a testament to why its so memorable (in both good and bad ways lol). Anyway I just got one last thing to say before wrapping up this review:

Ya like jazz?

Overall Rating: 7/10

Verdict: Watch the Entire Bee Movie but every time they say literally anything the movie starts over until you die

Previous Review (Shrek the Third)

Next Review (Kung Fu Panda)

[galar-abortion-clinic]

🍀🧠🥊🎓 For Jules, Mauly, and Rory! Just curious about these three!

(Jules is getting his own post since someone else asked about him, so stay tuned. Same twat time, same twat channel)

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Conceptually, both Mauly and Rory are two sides of the same coin. At first I only had Mauly, but I decided to extract a few traits from her and squelch those out into their own character so that her personality wouldn’t feel so totally neutered by incompetence. She’s a little more idealized, whereas Rory is my worst fear of what I could turn out to be, or how other people might perceive me

Mauly is impulsive, brash, self-serving, and arrogant. She’s unapologetically angry, horny, and human. Rory is all of those things, but deeply insecure and constantly overcompensating. He’s pathetic and he makes me sick. Basically he boils down to “sid vicious if he were a bit less of a dick, purely because he’s subdued by cowardice”

Design-wise? Kalos’ rendition of the Punk Guy/Girl trainer class, man. I fell in love instantly. Also this one specific tank girl page:

Good shit

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Mauly takes no shit. Sure, that might mean she leaves a bad taste in some people’s mouths, but she knows when she deserves to be treated better. Something I’ve always struggled with has been not standing up for myself because I’m worried it’ll hurt or inconvenience other people. Mauly says fuck those other people, It’s not my job to accommodate anyone else’s existence by minimizing my own. Her whole arc is about self-acceptance through ambivalence. “Even if i don’t love myself, i can’t change who I am. You’re not going to change me either, and you look stupid for trying”

Rory’s best use to me is catharsis. I’ve shoved all the shit I hate about myself into this guy and exaggerated it by queefzillion, and it feels reassuring to see him being knocked down a peg for behaving like a little wart. It also feels kind of nice when he still manages to find occasional kindness in spite of his many, many glaringly hideous flaws.

🥊 - What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Mauly was one of those kids who every adult in her life would describe as “so creative” and “a free spirit”, which is actually grown-up code for “this poor bastard’s gonna be a starving artist and we’re hiding our disappointment”. If she had the means to create more often, she’d have a lot of fun honing her craft and fully leaning into art as an outlet for her angst

Because she’s so hands-on and skilled at improvised patching and the like, she often gets stuck with repair responsibilities by the other schmucks she lives with. She doesn’t mind slapping duct tape over stuff several times over or whacking things with a hammer til it fits right, she just would prefer not being assigned that job by other people. Never tell her what to do

Rory’s nimble fingers don’t only make him a passable thief, but also a possibly-not-the-worst musician. He’s never played for anyone else, which might be why he kinda sucks, but it’s one of the few things he keeps to himself instead of bloating to give his delicate ego some padding. His songbook is loaded with edgy cringe, but its the sort of raw soul-bearing stuff that reminds you there’s a person in there. Not a great person, but a person

Anyway something he hates doing is uhhhhhh giving to charity,

🎓- How long have you had the OC?

Mauly’s been around ffffforrrrrr i wanna say maybe two years now? For a long time she was just an idea in my head, i didn’t wanna touch that idea til i knew exactly what i wanted to do with it

Rory’s my freshest OC, only been around for like a month. Not even. Could still use some fine tuning

Bonus: some VERY rough first drafts of Mauly that’re a little closer to the source material (excuse the positively grimy state of the paper, i dont take very good care of my sketchbooks)

[theatreslave]

I don't know why I'm writing this.

But I'm the lowest I've been in awhile.

I was alone at work yesterday, my boss out sick with her kid. Hours spent alone. Waiting on calls and emails. Sending messages on my phone to men on dating apps who don't care about me. Sending distant messages to my best friend a state over.

I realized that my phone, the contacts, are full of people who haven't spoken to me in days, weeks, months. some even years. Why do I keep their numbers? Maybe I hope one day they will remember me.

I went home and got dressed for the gym. But I didn't want to pretend to be ok around all those people. I also didn't want to be the fat girl crying at the gym. So I laid down on my living room floor and listened to the silence.

My parents were out, at a casino, for the 100th time it seemed. My mother still can't say no to my father. He throws away what little retirement money he has, complains about losing, and then expects me to help.

Neither of them know I had a different man in my bed last night. Someone they would never meet and someone I probably won't see again. They don't know that I don't know how to look for love without giving my body away. So many hands have touched this body but so few have meant it out of love. Maybe none.

I laid on that floor and felt my fingertips, palms, wrists, forearms, biceps, back, thighs, calves, feet and toes. But back to my wrists. My Wrists my wrists my wrists and I imagine how my mother's cutco knife would so easily slice through my skin and for a second I could feel it.

I wept, I curled into a ball on that floor and felt the loneliness bubble to the surface and drown me. I grasped at the floor for something to keep me here. My own breathing scared me. I had no one who would come running if I told them I needed them.

I told the boy I wished would talk more that it wouldn't be his fault when he finds out what happened to me. There was nothing wrong with him. He just wasn't giving enough to me. To someone who needed a stronger hand to keep me here.

My nose was stuffed shut and running. I couldn't see through my tears while I walked to my kitchen and pulled out the knife I had imagined. I looked at it's sharp edge and cried harder. I gripped it in a fist and before I could draw blood and threw it down on the counter and fell to my knees. In my mind I saw myself on the floor, surrounded by blood, and finally at rest.

But my grandma came out of here room and I rushed back into the living room and threw myself face down on my couch. I told her I was trying to nap when she asked. I got angry when she asked about the cats dinner, she had forgotten that she had watched me feed them an hour earlier. I cursed her silently for asking me if I wanted to heat up the rice for dinner.

When she shut herself behind her door I stood up again. I walked to the kitchen and took the knife with me to my bedroom. I laid in bed with it in my hands in the dark. I was sobbing. Loneliness must hurt worse than a knife piercing skin, I thought. It had to be. If I locked the door then my grandma wouldn't find me until maybe morning. My parents would probably assume I was asleep and not check until they don't hear me shuffling around for work in the morning.

I wonder how they would regret leaving me alone. I wonder how they would regret making me feel like a child. The sharp edge of the knife against my palm, nearly breaks skin and i drop it to the bed. I can't breathe through my nose again. So I drag myself out of my messy bed and sit at the dresser.

I turn on the vanity light and look into the eyes of my reflection. Eyes bloodshot and swollen and pathetic. I grab the thin brown tissues and try to free my airways. Still watching my sadness in bright light reflecting back at me.

Then I start to pick at all the scabs and pimples I can find on my face. I tear at the wart I've been trying to rid myself of for months. I try to make it hurt more than usual as I pull at my skin. Maybe this pain will be enough to not turn back to the knife. But I'm still crying. I'm angry now. Angry that I am still here when I had been talked out of ending it so many times.

I remember that my bestfriend told me that if I didn't call him before I killed myself he would haunt me in reverse. So I call him. I put the call on speaker and lay in darkness in my bed, gripping the knife handle. He answers and I don't speak. He asks again for me and I don't have the will to respond. He thinks the call is dropped or wrong. He hangs up and calls me. I answer on speaker again and I don't want to reply. But I do.

And I weep. I cry. I tell him how tired I am. I tell him I have a knife. I tell him I'm so tired of being alone. Of having no one. I'm so sad that he isn't even here to physically stop me. I tell him I called because he made me promise to call him before I do it. He tries to joke but I know he is scared. I lay the knife down but he still knows its there.

I don't remember what all we talked about. He tries to distract me with topics that are the opposite of detached and boring. He tries to get a rise out of me. He listens to me rid myself of the built up mess of my tears and my stuffed nose. He doesn't comment on it. He's heard me like this before. I know it scares him. He doesn't know how much I appreciate him for not leaving me. For not abandoning me.

It's dark outside and I haven't eaten since noon. I don't want to eat but he convinces me to order something even if I don't eat it. I tell him when my parents are gone I order using my mums card, like a little bit of payback for choosing a sin over being with me. But I don't blame them. Not really. I never know when days like this will come. I cannot warn them. I cannot beg for them to be there when I need them because I don't know when I will.

He stays on the line while I wait for my food. I had filled and emptied my door dash cart several times and decided on food that I wasn't really interested in. He hears me get up and I put the knife away. He still asks if I did or not. He knows I know how to lie.

But I'm good this time. I put it away. I sit on the couch, half listening to whatever he says while thinking about how disappointed I am that I'm not bleeding. The food arrives and he says goodbye. He tells me he appreciates me. He tells me he loves me. He tells me to text him when I wake up in the morning. I know he needs to know that I didn't change my mind when he hangs up.

The guy from earlier messages me and asks if I'm ok. Asks why I never mentioned my depression when we hung out. I tell him I don't feel it when I have someone with me. That I wanted him to be there but he's too distant. he says he cares and I don't believe him. No one has given me a reason to believe men who only text me when they want to see me.

I make myself eat the rolled tacos, covered in cheese and lettuce and meat and sour cream. I add the home made pico de gallo from my lunch that I never ate. I try to make myself feel better about all the calories now that I am ravenous. I eat it all. 5 tacos. They aren't that good. They are dry and I wish there was more meat. I wish I had bought something different. But I chose this because it was cheap even though I had made my mum pay for it.

I distract my eyes with a podcast that makes me laugh on my normal days. It keeps my attention enough to not aimlessly scroll on dating apps hoping for something and someone that won't come.

I feel sick. I feel too full. I make myself drink soda and water and not throw up. I change out of the gym clothes that didn't get to serve their purpose. My cats circle and I take them to the rooms they sleep in. I wash my face and make sure the water is cold. Hoping it will remind me what being alive feels like.

I hate myself for not showering like I planned. I feel like my hair is made of oil and my skin stinks. It probably doesn't but it's still another failure. I put on my cpap and lay in bed, window open, fan on, trying to find sleep. I toss and turn and feel like i'm being punished for letting myself feel this sad. I hear my parents come home. I can see the light in the hallway illuminate the outline of my door.

I wonder if I locked it. I wonder if my parents will check on me. Their grown but still a child daughter. They don't. They go to bed and don't bother. They trust me more than they should.

Now I know that they wouldn't have found me until the next morning. It is not comforting. I am uncomfortable and feel like my skin is too warm. I want to sleep. I'm so tired. I just want to sleep. I wish someone would hold me here. Hold me so I don't try to disappear.

I count fingers. I count sheep. I feel how crooked my shoulders are. I feel how dry my feet are. My cat swats at my ankles when I get too close. God please let me sleep. I don't know when I stopped counting.

I woke up late this morning. I made myself shower, hoping I will feel alive enough to not cry in front of my parents. They don't notice that I am more quiet than usual.

Now I'm here. 'working' my head has been pounding and I know I'm dehydrated. But spelling this all out is all I can think about. I hope it will make me feel better. But i'm aware I'm skipping lunch. I should eat. I live from meal to meal it seems.

I don't know why I'm still here.

I want to disappear.

I already don't exist.

I want it all to end.

But I have a kindle coming in the mail today.

I should use it at least before I go.

[blossoming-sun]

Thank you for agreeing to listen to my ramblings, hopefully it makes sense

So Dr White is like. An eccentric scientist. He’s technically a scientist, but he believes in magic n stuff, and is seen as a bit of a joke. Little does anyone know that he’s the keeper of the miraculous…

Except for his kids, of course. Vegan has been begging for a miraculous since she was a child, but Dr White never let her have any of them. BP also wants superpowers, but Dr White is responsible and refuses to give kids superpowers. And then one day, the apocalypse happens.

The entire earth starts to shake. Dr White gets into a helicopter with his kids to escape, but something happens (one of the propellers fails or something) and Dr White does an oopsie and accidentally loses…. Almost all of the miraculous.

He only has four left: the pig (which he takes, obviously), the tiger, the dog and the bull. These are all useful powers, but the ones that he has lost are much more powerful. 

He gives the Tiger to Vegan, and the Bull to BP. So BP now has invincibility, Vegan can cause mass destruction, and Dr White can psychologically torment people. Great.

Unfortunately, he has lost the literal powers of creation and destruction, among other things. Which is bad. 

Also in this timeline, there are no mutants. yet. So far all that’s happened is a bunch of natural disasters in rapid succession that has wiped out a lot of the population. Drinking water and food is scarce, and the world has become a lawless wasteland.

And then things get worse. Because a certain someone finds the peacock miraculous and uses it to create a mutant army. Why did Ryan do this, you ask? Because he has nothing left to lose. He has no friends left alive, and now, as far as he knows, his only family member is dead. And then Duusu tells him that if he combines the Ladybug and black cat miraculous, he can have a wish. He wants his brother back. And after seeing how cruel people can be (both in the army and after the apocalypse) he decides that he’ll burn the world to the ground to get his brother back. He transforms and gains the alias “Firebird” (because bird and also he has red hair) and never goes out in public unless transformed. So he creates a bunch of mutants with the ability to clone, because constantly making more would be exhausting for him. And he tells them to find the rest of the miraculous for him. After six weeks, the mutants find the butterfly miraculous. 

After months with nothing to show for it, Ryan/Firebird begins to get lonely. He misses sheriff. He wants to talk to someone. So he uses his power to create a human sentimonster- wart. He looks and acts just like Sheriff did when he was 12 years old- except he has green eyes and purple hair. He also create verruca, because he’s always wanted a sister and also someone needs to counteract how chaotic wart is. He doesn’t let either of them know his real name or see his face, and wears a mask in front of them when not transformed. He doesn’t want to be tracked down, because he was fairly well known as a soldier and it would be possible to discover his base is the abandoned military base that his last battle was that if anyone was intent to take him down. Which everyone would be if they knew about the miraculous.

So Wart creates some akumas and makes a batch of colossuses. He can do this without turning back because according to Miraculous lore, Sentis are whatever you need them to be… or something. Veruca does not have a miraculous. Yet. 

Eventually, Ryan decides that having knockoff Sheriff around is too painful for him, so he orders Verruca and Wart to go run strongholds and stop any humans from getting through. Verruca does not care about this at all, but Wart is devastated. He decides to do such a great job at being evil that Firebird will have no choice but to take him back and accept how great he is. 

Fastforward to episode one. Sheriff has just discovered a group of mutants looking very excited about something. So naturally, he decides to steal whatever they have. 

After discovering he risked his life for some earrings, he isn’t happy. Until he discovers the earrings will give him super neat powers. He decides to debut he superhero career when the mutants attack town. Unfortunately someone else has the same idea, and he’s competing for his heroic status with some idiot in a black cat suit. That someone is shooter, but he calls himself Black Cat because he clearly lacks the braincells to come up with something more imaginative. Sheriff names himself “Red Justice” and Shooter laughs at him. A lot. They fight so much that the mutants are given a chance to destroy everything, and they are chased out of town for bringing the mutants there and then failing at their job. They continue to travel around, but are more friendly to each other until night comes, they detransform, set up camp, and chill out. And then Sheriff wakes up and he doesn’t have earrings. So he runs after Shooter, the one who obviously stole them, and finds himself at Brutux’s house. When there, he demands the earrings back, but before he has a chance to get them from Brutux, Mutants attack. Again. Sheriff manages to to get his earrings back, transform and save the three of them with his yoyo when the tower collapses,  but then two new heroes show up. Sheriff cannot catch a break. So Shooter transforms as well, and they have a fight and get their asses whooped. Vegan and BP get the miraculous, and Brutux, Sheriff and Shooter chase after them. When they get to the la resistance base, Dr White, who’s been akumatised, still has his miraculous, and they have an epic fight. Sheriff convinces Vegan and Bp to give back their miraculouses so that they can help in the fight, and Vegan hesitantly gives them back. 

Anyway, Dr White uses his miraculous and gives Sheriff a “gift” and forces him to live out his dream. Sheriff dreams that he’s with Ryan again, and none of the apocalypse or magic happened. And then it gets ripped away from him, he fixes Dr White, and is extremely traumatised. They have to find all the miraculous in order to stop the mutants from destroying everything, and Sheriff is roped into joining this quest.

What Miraculous everyone has:

Sheriff- ladybug

Shooter- Black cat

Vegan- Tiger

BP- Bull

Dr White- Pig

Katani- Fox (because of the flute)

Apocalypsis- Dragon 

Valley- Dog

Brutux- Monkey (I have not a single reason for this other than the fact that he and Xuppu would fight a lot and it would be funny)

Wart- Butterfly

Ryan- Peacock

Veruca- goat (she uses it exclusively to make snacks and tv remotes)

[josiebelladonna]

Do I feel vibrant (in general)?

I’m in pain (from exercising more), so no. I still don’t know what it means to “feel vibrant”, either.

Do I feel sexually desirable?

I have never felt this way in my life. I’ve been working out harder lately and I (finally) hit the 30 pound mark and now my next goal is 20 pounds by turkey day, but again: I’m only thinking about my physical health and getting healthy. Listen, I had swollen feet, a pounding heart, I was prone to migraines, and I was probably prediabetic, too, given diabetes runs in the family. I ain’t thinking about sexiness… whatever that is.

Are my sexual needs being met? (by me, by someone else)

I started my kinktober collection last night because no one else can get it right, but it’s really hard to say. I cringe at my desires, needs, whatever they’re fucking called, especially my belly kink. It’s the one kink that I go way back with and I would be lying if I said talking about it makes me feel so exposed and embarrassed. It’s like coming out, it’s not like a kid’s birthday party: it’s a huge deal.

Do I care about my sexual life?

The fact I keep coming back to this shows that I care about it *enough*. But I can’t say that I care about it so much that I’m losing sleep over the fact that no one is sleeping with me.

What is my comfort level with talking about sex and sexuality and communicating my needs?

Zero comfort. I’m so embarrassed and disgusted with myself.

How am I feeling about my body?

Hard to say. Listen, when I was pushing 270, I actually felt great (minus the swollen feet, of course). Losing weight now, and it’s fascinating how fast I’ve been losing weight (30 pounds in 2 months! I never would have dreamed that would happen).

What is my relationship like with my orgasms?

Nonexistent. I can’t remember the last time I masturbated because, again, there’s no point. I tried doing it again and I stopped because I couldn’t get into it. I don’t care. What is the point of developing an appetite when there is no need for it. There’s no point to developing a sexual appetite, plus I don’t care. I’m too much of a pussy and there are other things to worry about, too. They’re here and gone, too, like what the hell is this whole thing that all women should have these violent screamers after five seconds. Am I really not doing it right? Why should I try and make myself scream when it won’t happen. Why even bother.

What is my connection like with others?

Horrible. It’s been two weeks since the Testament cartoon and it’s still only at 3 likes on my page. Meanwhile, I see people celebrating kids’ birthdays, making massive recoveries, reaching huge milestones, what have you. Go to my page and it looks sad. Do you understand why I have no desire to be there anymore?

I have no faith in my art, either. I’ll just post the collections and be done with it, seeing as that’s all everyone wants from me.

When I think of sex, what comes to mind?

Nothing good or happy. What on earth am I supposed to say to this? I think of all the consequences of being sexually active and that’s all I think about, too. Oh, yeah, herpes and HIV and unwanted pregnancy, yeah, that’s really sexy.

Do I feel tapped into God (Source, Universe)?

lol

*bonus question: What fun am I having in my sexual life?

None. Ooh yeah, exposing yourself to horrific diseases like herpes and gonorrhea and warts, and putting your body and trust in another person when they can readily betray you at any given time for the dumbest and pettiest reasons, yeah, that’s totally fun *gunshot*

I’m terrified of what awaits me for kinktober. I just don’t measure up. The green druidess did a number on me as well as the Rockfic side of the fanfic world: in that brief period from when I came back online to the minute she showed up, it was a little more than a year, it was like Santa Cruz, it was this pre-pandemic/pre-Tiktok/pre-worst of what gen z has to offer era that was still fun and enjoyable. You write fic and go on tumblr because it was fun, not because you wanted to be the next E.L. James or Anna Todd. 

And you could say whatever you wanted (barring you weren’t prejudiced against someone for who they were). People only blocked someone when they personally attacked them through asks or reblogs, not because they had an opinion they didn’t like. I looked at her fic account just now and she and temple haven’t updated in months: i remember the last time i pointed this out she updated something probably just to stick it to me, but i expect her to. People with control issues and a sense of entitlement are weak. I’m bracing myself for this, but what is with women these days? The last couple of times I went grocery shopping, the women were… bitchy to say in the least. Walking around with their noses in the air, rude to their children, looking down at me all because of my pink pants and I’m fucking poor… The men meanwhile? Sweet. Polite. Approachable. Friendly even. It’s like my own gender has very quickly become the very thing they’re accusing men of being: rude, mean, liars, arrogant, bullies, abusers, manipulators, all with a side of victim complex because “we’re women, therefore victims and therefore deserving of special treatment”. There are exceptions, of course, but it’s like the mean, entitled girl is the thing to be now.

I see these new fic writers who are blatantly displaying their quote unquote “raunchy sides” and they’re getting fucking everything. “Ooh, look at me, I’m a sexual being and therefore entitled to special treatment” or the flip side: “ooh, look at me, I’m a minor and therefore entitled to special treatment”. Listen, when I was a minor, I had… some curiosity about sexuality but not a lot. But I never saw it as “harassment” or “abuse”, though: it was just this side of life that was incredibly taboo and inaccessible, like I felt bad just thinking about it .  I couldn’t explore if I wanted to. Plus, I was more focused on learning things, building robots, making cartoons, and trying not to kill myself because my classmates and my dad’s side of the family were all assholes.

No fun. No hope. And no, I don’t deserve shit. Again, I’ll just do it and be done with it. I don’t give a shit if anyone else doesn’t.

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

"Lot of good guilt ever did me I still kept doing shitty things.. I hurt people. .....my friends, my family, people i loved .. I don't know why . " Bojack frowned voice laced with deep seeded remorse, a broken pain in his tone having lost so many people. Herb, charlotte, gina, hollyhock, Diane.. he hoped he wouldn't ruin things with eric ruin things with stan but he was sure somehow it would blow up someday. He had tested a few waters with eric already but the kid still loved him.. and it was nice.. it felt nice to be loved.

". I'm just hoping I don't make those same mistakes again." Bojack couldn't say why he was getting vunerable with the child maybe it was the whole innocence that came with childhood that felt more comfortable to bare bits of his soul. or maybe he was just depressed. like always and wanted to vent

"Yeah stan has really shitty parents. his mom neglects him and seems to care more about yelling at board game pieces on the table than her own shitty husband. Not that I think she should yell. I think they should get a divorce. Staying together for the child is just being selfish. This town is really triggering bad memories... . " Aside from the childhood abuse , he recalled how how caused a divorce on the set of horsin around..

"Eric is the first person to love me unconditionally warts and all he saved my life .. those 'muggers' almost slit my throat open... i owe eric my life. so if I get testy there you go. ERic may be an asshole but he's my hero. I owe him my life." to show he wasn't lying he gestured to the stitches on his neck that were caused by the machete.

" .. and I'm sorry.. . . " He said sincerely. " I was an asshole and I'm sorry I called you the.. yaknow.. .. and since it sounds your a little jealous if you want any advice from an old man I might be able to provide some wisdom. I like helping people.. it feels good helping people .. hurting people suckkkkss." He chuckled giving a small smile.

" I was an acting coach for college kids and it felt nice helping them reach their potential that's what i hope to achieve with eric and Stanley. "

My own mother.... never said she loved me not even once..

@ericcartmn

[jade-parcels]

The genshin men: fatherhood edition

With: Childe, Zhongli, Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, Venti, Albedo and Baizhu

—————————

Childe:

Ajax loves kids and he’ll make that known early on in your relationship

Like...This man wants five or more kids but he’ll settle for four. He dreams of a big family, getting to surround himself with you and your kids every night for family dinners, everyone getting together for big birthday parties or reunions! That’s his dream life! Plus, in Snezhnaya, most families have more than two kids anyways

He will cry so hard when his babies are placed in his arms for the first time, I mean he’s a mess. Nose is running, eyes puffy, lost of sniffling lmao he is so excited to be a dad!! Don’t you dare tell the other Harbingers how much he cried...What do you mean you took a picture when he wasn’t looking??? Hey??!?!

With his obscene amount of mora, he’ll buy a huge house that will accommodate everyone. Anything you want will be purchased that day or within 48 hours, the same goes for the kids

But they’ll all learn to be thankful for what they have. They’ll learn to fight, fish and speak multiple languages. He has high expectations but let’s face it, he’ll be proud of them no matter what

You’re gonna have to be the one to put your foot down though because Ajax doesn’t enjoy being the ‘mean parent’, he has trouble saying no to the kiddos which can create some tension between you and your husband. He has good intentions of course!! He doesn’t wanna say no to those cute, freckled faces!!

Zhongli:

Zhongli is nervous about having kids because he’s immortal. So this will go one of two ways. 1. You have the baby and the baby ends up not being immortal (or you adopt a baby who is not immortal) Then he loses you both. OR 2. You have the baby and it inherits his immortality and becomes an adeptus. Now he and the baby will have to watch you die while they both life forever.

Either way...It hurts him to think about because he loves you!! He wants to have a family with you!! He wants to give you that perfect family life every human desires!! But he’s torn

You two will just have to figure it out.

Zhongli will be a strong, male figure for your kid(s) and he will instill that traditional kindness and respect into their behavior. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ always, always offer to help someone who needs it, do good deeds and you will feel accomplished, be the best you you can be, alway try your hardest because that’s all that matters

He will be sure that your kid(s) always feel loved ALWAYS. Zhongli will tell them stories, cook for them, take them to school, anything that needs to be done. When you’ve had a rough day, he’ll step in to take over for the night without being asked. He shows interest in everything your kid(s) like and he will do his damn best to display every piece of artwork they make or every pretty rock they find

He...will make a great dad :’)

Kaeya:

Ooooh brother, at first Kaeya says no he doesn’t want kids but...Then he starts thinking about it

He observes the happy families that walk around the cobblestone streets of Mondstadt, how the kiddos smile and laugh with their parents. He’ll patrol in the afternoons, usually rounding the corner just in time to see the city’s kids leave school for the day, watching as they all run down the street to go home to their parents or play in the fountain together...Yeah, that really warms his heart

He’d want one or two kids, preferably two to avoid an only child being lonely. He isn’t on the best terms with Diluc but he can admit that they had a great childhood together, playing at the winery and running around as brothers do

Kaeya would be a very patient, understanding father. He doesn’t have much of a temper so he’d use the kids’ mistakes as learning opportunities instead of getting upset at them

He would be obsessed with the kids when they’re babies though oh man if you thought you had baby fever, he has it times ten! He loves holding the baby, watching with a twinkling eye as his baby grasps his thumb with its tiny hand... adorable

And if your kids inherited his eyes, his star shaped pupils that his ancestors passed down to him...He’s gonna get emotional

Everyone at the knights’ headquarters and the Angel’s Share will get sick of him REALLY fast cause he won’t stop bragging about how cute and smart his kids are lmao

Diluc:

Diluc would be such a soft dad don’t even get me started

He loves you so much of course he wants to have kids with you! Is that even a question?? He won’t be the one to bring it up unless he gets the feeling that you want kids but once you ask, he’ll agree so fast

He’ll be grateful to even have one kid with you :’) and he’ll be fine with however many kids YOU want. You want one kid? Perfect! You want four? No problem, the manor is big enough for ten! You...you want ten...? Time to hire some more maids then lmao

Diluc is a worry wart though, he’ll be afraid to hold the baby, feed it, bathe it, he’s terrified of hurting the baby or the baby suddenly hating him. So just help him out!! Cause when he gets comfortable with the baby, he’ll be in full dad mode

He isn’t embarrassed to walk around the manor, conducting business with a baby strapped to his chest!

Diluc is a very kind, gentle dad who will always offer helpful solutions to the kiddos’ problems. He’ll make sure all of their needs are met while also trying to avoid spoiling them... Too much... There will be a fair amount of spoiling...

His own father wasn’t too affectionate with him so that’s why he’ll be affectionate with his kids! Hugs and kisses when he tucks them in at night, big dad hugs when they get home from school, holding their hands in the busy streets of Mondstadt. His father was a great dad! He just aims to be better.

Xiao:

Like Zhongli, he worries about the mortality thing. Since he’s an Adeptus, his kid will certainly be an Adeptus too if you have kids together.

He also worries that his kid(s) will hate him. His duty is to kill demons which means that rain or shine, holidays, special occasions, day or night he’s gotta be ready to go slaughter demonic beings. So he’ll inevitably miss out on important stages in the kiddos’ lives

And admittedly... He’ll be scared of his kids lmao

They’re screaming, crying, barfing, pooping, laughing, screaming again...He can’t predict their behavior. It’s unsettling. All of that goes away one night when you sit him down and place your sleeping baby in his arms. His eyes go wide...And he just watches. This tiny, little baby...Feels no fear for him. It’s comforted by his presence. He almost cries...ALMOST

He’s still pretty much the same Xiao we all know and love but now he has a kid. “Slaying demons is what I do...Hey, go back inside and finish your dinner. Yes, even your vegetables. I don’t care that you don’t like them-...Fine. Don’t tell your mother, bring them to me. I’ll eat them” cute :)

He’s a protective dad and husband, he’d never let anyone or anything harm his beloved family

Venti:

Venti....does not want kids. He thinks they’re cute! He likes the idea of kids but he knows he wouldn’t enjoy actually having kids

You two already have so much fun together!! You don’t need a kid!! You guys have dogs!! Dogs are like kids! But they’re more independent and they’re cuter!

He’ll feel bad if you want kids and he doesn’t, he really will! But it’ll be nearly impossible to convince him cause he’s made his mind up :/

Venti’ll make it up to you somehow though, he’ll take you out more and show you all of the adventures you guys can have if there aren’t kids around

But for the sake of fatherhood headcanons, let’s pretend he gave in. Venti would be a very caring dad. He would cuddle the hell out of this kiddo and sing to them :’) the only problem is that Venti doesn’t like being tethered to one place for too long so he tends to take off and not come back for a few days... :(

Albedo:

Albedo wants kids mostly just to see what fatherhood would be like. He’s always been curious about what that part of his life would be like so why not have a kid

He’d be good with one kid, two at most cause after practically raising Klee, he knows how some kids can be and...He doesn’t have the mental capacity for more than two kids at a time lmao

He tries his best to show more emotion in his face. We all know he usually sits like this 😐 and goes ‘wow im so happy right now’. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was bored out of his mind right? So he’s gotta work on that. And when he musters up a smile for the baby and it smiles back at him????? Yeah...He’s gonna try to smile a lot more now

He definitely softens up once he becomes a dad, he shows emotion more than he used to and surprisingly, he takes time off of work. Shocker, I know! He decides that he’s been in the lab long enough and that he wants to be able to be there for these moments with you and his kid(s) :’) :’) He trusts Sucrose and Timaeus to take over for him for a couple hours

He keeps a journal for each kid and writes down the date and time they have their firsts or just interesting things they do ->

- 8/4: Baby sees and plays with a cat for the first time

- 9/5: Baby smacked me in the face and laughed so hard she threw up

-9/12: Baby learns that pulling my hair gets my attention. She now continues to do so

-10/15: Baby stays at Aunt Klee’s house for the first time

Baizhu:

Baizhu really loves kids, he works with them a lot and he considers Qiqi to be his daughter anyway but in terms of you guys having a kid together, with his condition he can probably only handle one kid running around

He will do his absolute best to be a good dad. Even if he feels like death, he’ll help change diapers, feed the baby, care for it when you need a break. He isn’t contagious so when you’re sleeping and he feels gross, he’ll sit back against the pillows with the baby on his chest, the three of you resting together (though he doesn’t fall asleep...that would be dangerous for the baby)

Baizhu already tends to nag at you about your health and lifestyle choices but now?? He’ll be a menace. He’ll be constantly evaluating your baby’s condition, checking to see if a certain food is giving them a rash or making sure their skin isn’t drying out. He’s hyper aware of your baby’s health and will be the one to treat them if they get sick

He’s a busy guy since he runs the pharmacy but he will always do his best to be present for your baby’s big milestones! And when your kid cries cause Baizhu’s medicine tastes like shit, he’ll do his best to not be disappointed in their reaction lmao

When you leave him alone with the baby, he’ll wrap a scarf around himself to tie the baby to his chest while he works and...he looks so cute :) dad baizhu <3 <3 <3 <3

Bonus points for him buying the baby toy medical equipment so he can get your kiddo interested in medicine :)

[oh-for-fic-sake]

It’s A Match Chapter One

Masterlist

Disclaimer

Summary: Filming is over and Henry returns home to and empty house. And he doesn't like it, things are getting to him and he doesn't want to be alone anymore. Then his brother suggests online dating, it sounds mad but henry decides to give it a shot. If worst comes to worst he just deletes the profile. He has nothing to loose right?

Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Cheese, Self Indulgent Fic, Rpf, Plus sized reader.

A/N: so I wrote this before the whole 'girlfriend' shock and everything that has followed. I was of two minds whether to ever post it but honestly, this is my blog and I've clearly stated that i am going to continue writing Rpf. I want to do a little ficlet/mini fic and well here we go. It wont be smutty just  somewhat angsty then fluffy. Enjoy~

Taglist: In Reblogs.

Henry slumped back on the seat in his conservatory and sighed, from here he could see his brothers and their wives outside, each snuggled up on the out door wicker sectional he had got to have the family over. It was the first family get together for over a year. He was happy, god it was amazing to see them but... He couldn't help being a tad envious.

They all had a family, wife and kids to go through this shitstorm in. He had no one, well he ha Kal. But that was it he sighed and looked away sipping from his cup slowly takeing a moment for himself. He needed to just chill, but it was getting hard... This year had really knocked him back he was at an all time low he hadn't felt like this for a long time. He knew he was depressed, he felt stupid there was no reason to be but there we go.

Henry had been getting himself all twisted for a while now, filming the Witcher helped but now that was over and he was home alone. Left with his thoughts in a big empty house.

"Sooo little brother want to tell me what's going on or am I gonna have to get mum in here?" Henry jumped at the voice and spun around to face his brother who was keeping a safe distance at the door. Wiping his hands down clearly just having washed them again.

"I ah its nothing, you know me I'm a worry wart" he said waving off his older brother he didn't want to bring down the mood of the small gathering, it was why he had come in here to take a breather.

"You called us all here for a visit hen, out of the blue when lockdown is still being eased out. Its clear you don't want to be alone, yet your sitting in here alone." His older brother said leaning on the door frame folding his arms trying to figure out what was really going on. He could see his little brother was hurting he wanted to help.

"I've got Kal" Henry said with a chuckle and looked about for the bear only to frown and sigh seeing the room was empty apart fro  him and his brother.

"Kal's outside with the kids hen, what's up? You can tell me you know" henry sided as his sibling  moved sitting in the small seat across from him. He knew that his family would listen but he felt so... spoilt like he was asking too much and was being selfish. It wasn't like him.

He grunted leaning back choosing not to look at his brother instead focusing on the cup in his hand. He spun it slightly then heaved a sigh. He wasn't getting away with not speaking about it, he was going to air out his worries one way or another. With his brother or his mother, and he loved his mother but this was? He wanted to keep this issues close to his chest. So far only Kal knew about his problems.

"I... I've had enough... just had enough of fucking covid and being alone... i felt isolated before all this shit kicked off and now?" He vented releasing all the fears he had. It was tough, he was a family man without his own little family, he hadn't managed to find anyone to share his life with and it got to him. He tried being sincere and polite, he took care of himself and tried staying true to himself but... something was missing it had to be! On paper he was a safe bet a good man! Yet his relationships never worked. There were different opinions or his other half couldn't handle the life style or they tried changing him or they couldn't put up with the way he loved so furiously- so openly wanting to always hold and kiss them. It just never quite worked.

"Its- fuck everything has just caught up with me...worries I've had for a few years now I could ignore them you know? I had other stuff going on, was always out and about meetings and press tours I was busy! But now?" He tried putting his feeling into words but he was conscious, he didn't want to whine or bitch about his life. He loved his work and the life he had made for himself he just? Wanted someone to share it with.

"Now after covid you've got all the time in the world to think?" Henry nodded agreeing with his brother. Covid had made him face these fears head on. He has been alone for the best part of a year with the uncertainty of his work and filming quarantines and isolations.

"Yeah, it hurts I'm... I'm in deep and I? I don't know how I'm getting out of this slump" henry finally said outloud, his brother dipped his head listening to him as he ranted. Started letting out all the frustration and anxiety out but stopped short with another growl closeing his hand around the cup tightly hissing in frustration then looked away.

"And what's caused it? I know you hate being alone but?" Henry sighed shaking his head as his brother tried coaxing more out of him. He drew in a shaky breath wanting to cry, he was just so lost and upset over being upset and alone.

"Two lock downs... Two alone- I? If this carries on for the next few years I don't... I don't want to be alone anymore! I want to settle down, I want an actual personal life! A relationship a family and? How? How am I gonna find all that? They want fame or money or something! Women never seem to want me for me, they say the do then judge me for my hobbies- I'm a geek I like tech and games and fantasy! And women don't like that" he spewed the words like they were venom, half ashamed of being so dramatic but the fear was real. Henry was scared, he wanted love. He wanted a family of his own, and it seemed impossible, now more then ever.

"I want to meet someone who will take me as I am, for me and I just I'm giving up. I'm giving up on it I can feel it, almost forty and look, alone unmarried no kids-I have no one to share my life with, it hurts am I not good enough for that?"  He hung his head as he spoke the final words put loud. He felt so vain and full of himself when he said them out loud, his skin crawled.

But it was how he felt, being the muscular decent looking man he was didn't go with his personality. He was a geek and the woman who were drawn to him didn't want that. And the woman that shared his hobbies normally weren't confident enough to even speak to him. Society's views on acceptable couples had put Henry in no mans land.

"What about online dating?" His brother spoke up but Henry just grunted rolling his eyes frustrated.

"What? No I cant do that I'd be fucking swamped" he hissed in irritation frustrated at the mere suggestion of him trying to date online.

"Whoa hold your horses let me finish I mean come on Hen there's bound to be hundreds of shy sweet women on there, I mean girls that are into your hobbies and stuff aren't usually the ones out and about partying and stuff, so its more likely they will be online" his brother quickly explained before Henry could pop off on one and shut him down.

Henry opened his mouth and stopped himself. That was a good point. Many of the women he would click with weren't going to be in bars or fancy parties. They were normally shy and at home most of the time reading or playing games.

"I... You really think i could meet someone? Meet the one online?" He asked in a small voice warming to the idea. His sibling smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes little brother, your a down to earth guy, just make a profile and have a look, if you don't like what you see you can delete the profile" henry nodded slowly thinking it over. There'd be no harm if he failed well he'd be no worse off, a little disheartened but that's about it.

"Look write down a few things you want in your dream girl, have a pseudo name like fucking I don't know Hank! Or something and say your a runner on set or something" his brother spoke up quickly as Henry sat back and actually thought about it seriously. He was right, henry could tweak things and be careful about what he shared and if he did meet the one then she'd understand... He could explain the predicament he was in. That he just wanted someone who liked him for him. And he would only reveal himself to her if she was the one and he was sure she would understand. As long as he was himself and honest about everything else in his life then there was no harm... and if he used proper photos of himself just... half cropped out then? It wasn't catfishing? Because he was being himself just using the nickname his mother used to call him.

"O-okay so be myself but... Just tweak a few things? So they don't know its me?" He reiterated to his brother still trying to figure out the morality of this whole idea.

"Yes! No full on pictures, no photos of Kal either new photos henry not old, maybe of your eyes up or something? Girls love blue eyed boy- not your right that brown will give you away... you could even fuck em up with a behind the scenes character photo? I mean come on how many men use a superman photo for their profile these days?" He encouraged wanting more then anything to cheer up his little brother.

"I yeah... That could work ,thank you- I'm sorry I got so worked up it... Its just getting to me now" henry apologised but his brother shook his head and chuckled standing up to go back outside to the others that were all happily chatting in the garden.

"I know Hen, look just give it a go, you might be surprized... come on lets get back out there, after all you are the host~ you cant just run off and hide" henry grinned standing and following his brother. It was decided, he'd give online dating a go!

A week later Henry sat at the computer everything was ready, he'd taken some precise photos and had spent the last half hour writing a profile up. He had felt a little guilty about this... Was he lying? Technically it was him, he was going by Hank which was a nickname his parents gave him as a child, luckily this site didn't require a surname because honestly? He had no clue! To fend off some guilt he had thrown in a behind the scenes photo of himself as superman it wasn't much but it helped take the edge off. The other photos were cropped and there were a good few just so that the women knew he wasn't technically a catfish; he even did one with him covering half of his face with a piece of paper with Hank scrawled across it. At the time he felt silly but it helped with his anxiety over the whole thing.

He paused for a second eyeing the screen rereading the profile over and over trying to make sure it was alright and honest. And it was, he had explained a little about himself, his hobbies and interests and his job... Only brushing over he worked for the film and tv industry recently working for Netflix he hadn't exactly explained what he did but there was enough information.

With a deep breath he clicked the button his mouse hovered over going live with the profile. Now all he had to do was wait and hope he caught a good womans eye. Within moments a few profiles popped up, matches. He scanned them flicking through some of the profiles and felt his heart crack. They were all full of badly filtered photos and used slang that to be honest he didn't even understand. What was so hard about using plain English?

He growled growing frustrated clicking through what were clearly a bunch of wannabe sugar babies. Each profile had a main photo a little bit of info then a few more pictures added to them. He scanned each one quickly going through the motions judging each one. 'Too far away... Your clearly not even eighteen?... Oh you like dc? Really hate to break it to you but thor is not a dc character' Henry grunted as he bypassed what felt like hundreds of women each with their own 'duck face' selfie most advertising their Instagram pages some even ballsy enough to add their only fans pages.

'Wait a second who was that?' He paused and scrolled back up and eyed the image on screen. It was a face on photo a cute woman smiling uncomfortably. Unlike everyone else's there was no distorting blur or heavy editing, the only make up was in the form of eyeliner in a set of black slightly uneven cat eyes. A slightly skewed black flicks making a point of no editing on the photo.

She was a full figured woman with proper kissable round cheeks and a sweet nervous grin. Her eyes were what got him, they were kind and genuine he could see she was uneasy about the photo but she was beautiful. She lived about half hour away which wasn't to bad.

Henry clicked the profile and scrolled down she didn't smoke, drunk occasionally and had no children. She did however have a college education in animal care and ran a small business. Centred on dogs by the looks of it. He moved further down reading the profile.

Y/n, 30, business owner, e/c, 5'4, curvy

I'm shy so will take a while to warm up to you. A honest woman, sometimes to honest I don't seem to have a filter 🤗 I'm laid back and tend to be sarcastic and I love animals I'm a kc certified dog breeder as well as run a small successful business that caters to dogs. So if you are allergic or don't like dogs then leave now but thank you for clicking🙃

I spend most of my free time gaming or reading. I enjoy the fantasy genre and love dc and marvel (though I love dc just a tad more🤫)

I have one fur baby in the form of my lovely girl Amii who is a three year old malamute. Yes malamute not a husky or Akita so again if you don't like dogs or big dogs I'm not the girl for you.

I'm looking for someone to have fun and maybe build a life with. Covid has been tough being single and decided that it was about time I tried this whole online dating thing. If you want to chat pop me a message 🥰

I do not have a personal Instagram, snapchat or only fans! Stop asking for pictures!😠😠

Henry's face split into a huge grin. She seemed to good to be true. She was wholesome, successful in her own right and looked fun. She didn't seem to be full of kale and bullshit. Just genuine and? Henry couldn't put his finger on it but there was something drawing him to this woman.

True to her word there was no Instagram link, no only fans or snap chat or anything. He scrolled further seeing photos of her and the biggest fluffiest dog he had ever seen in his life. She was sitting down next to who he assumed was Amii her dog and he melted. Y/n looked happy and content, living her best life.

There was nothing that sent alarm bells ringing, no racey photos or 'Netflix and chill' innuendos. The profile was clean and genuine.  He was right the woman was a little chunky but extraordinarily beautiful. The curves suited her and made her look more... cheerful and he could tell she was strong aswell, you had to be to have a huge dog like that about you.

There were photos of her walking a large pack of dogs in the wood; that he recognised! They were the very same he took Kal to only ten minuets down the road, he even recognised the small logo of her company on the jacket she wore. He had seen dog walkers wearing the same jacket so he knew of her brand. I he remembered correctly the company offered dog walking, grooming and kennel facilities as well as offering Breeding services helping stud dogs and stuff. They also helped advertise registered breeders and took in rescues for rehoming. It was a brilliant little company that he had even used for Kal once or twice to get his teeth cleaned and nails clipped, because Kal was a bugger for his pedicures!

He moved further down seeing more photos of the woman a small section with the games and tv she liked. Witcher was in both the tv and games category aswell as peaky blinders, Vikings and a few other shows.

Henry paused as he saw the chat button. Should he? He but his lip twisting on the spot in he chair rocking from side to side. What harm is there? He could just send a message she looked like a fun loving woman, he shared the same interests and stuff... so why not?

His fingers hovered over the keys ready to type out the words. But he choked. His mind ran blank what does he say? Hi? I saw your profile? Does he ask for a date? What does he do?

He let his hands fall and growled. Then scanned over the side of the message bar seeing a few pre-typed responses.

'It's a match!' 'You look fun, lets chat' 'I like your profile picture'

He winced they all seemed... wrong? Somehow they were polite and all but it- they wasn't personal or anything just... not quite right. He looked down as Kal came padding over and slumped next to him resting his chin on his foot with a loud sigh. With that Henry had an idea typing away a little message and hitting send before he could really think.

You sighed typing away the latest wage slips and added up all the various overtime, you really needed some more staff on now that lockdown was coming to an end. Thankfully animal care was essential so you hadn't been hit too hard a few staff were on furlough as they were extreme high risk and shielding but you were going out of your way to make the premises covid safe. Luckily it wasn't too hard as much of the business was just a few staff and lots of dogs.

You frowned when a chat icon popped up in to corner of your screen. 'Hank?' You though trying to remember if you knew a Hank? Maybe a client or some old friend... but you honestly couldn't recall. You l saved your document and clicked the small icon bringing up a chat and frowned a you read the little message.

'I call my dog bear but he has nothing on Amii, Shes the fluffiest dog I've ever seen in my life she looks perfect for bear hugs😅'

'what the hell?' You cursed scrunching your nose up at the screen rereading the words. That's a bit random... you clicked his icon a small photo of half of his face then froze as a dating profile opened up. 'Oh... shit' you said seeing that your own profile you'd set up a few days ago out of curiosity had garnered the attention of the handsome blue eyed stranger. You swallowed biting you lip thoughts of finishing updating your records now gone as you scanned Hanks profile and a small smile crossed your face.

Hank, 37, works in the film industry. Blue eyes, 6ft, muscular.

Decided to finally try this online dating, unsure what to say other then I'm looking for a life partner. I like to think I'm funny and laid back. I'm fit and active but that doesn't mean you have to be, but maybe my lady could come for walks with me and my four legged son? I promise he's my best freind and a good boy.

My job is tough and I'm away for long periods of time, but when I'm home I like to play games and am into warcraft. I paint miniatures when I can. Fantasy and superheroes are a big part of my hobbies so if you don't like all things geek then I'm probably not for you.

But if they are? Then feel free to message me, I will reply when I can.

You read and re-read the profile And your hands hovered over your chicklet keyboard. Biting your lip, do you respond? He seemed sweet and real... if that made sense. You took a deep breath. What was the worst that could happen? Asking for a plane ticket? You decided to take a chance and typed back a reply hitting send whilst you had your nerve and then flushed.

"And they say fluffy dogs only lure in women~" You giggled to yourself  moving a hand over the huge fluffy girl beside you giving her pets whislt thinking of a reply.

[mythicandco]

Darcy Week (all prompts)

Marcy has sat on a throne twice before, actually. 

Back when she was in kindergarten, playing one of those silly make-believe games with her childhood friends, Anne had offered up her place as queen for Marcy to give it a try. (Usually, Anne would be queen, Marcy was the royal mage, and Sasha was the knight.) Not seeing the harm, Marcy had clambered up the slide and said in her most commanding voice, “I AM AN EVIL QUEEN! MUAHAHA!” 

She’d immediately fallen down after that, but luckily Anne and Sasha were there to catch her. After that, they’d all agreed Anne was the best queen, plain and simple. Marcy just wasn’t cut out for sitting on thrones - it was too easy to fall off. 

Back when she’d first arrived in Amphibia, King Andrias had offered to let her sit on his throne. Marcy tried to decline as politely as she could, but he insisted she at least give it a try. And hey, why not? It had a wide base, a nice view, and she wasn’t as likely to fall this time. (She couldn’t help but think of the evil queen incident anyways, and grinned a little bit when she sat down. Because hey, there was no harm in having a little fun with it, right?) Funnily enough, she didn’t end up falling off of her throne that time - instead, she got stuck, and had to be picked up from her seat in order to get out of the oversized chair. 

But this.

This does not feel like a throne to her. 

This feels like a prison, digging itself into her and restricting her movement and restricting her thoughts. Metal tubes attach to her arms and legs, a helmet clicks onto her head no matter how she tries to escape its cold embrace, and one long scream rips from her throat as everything, everything burns and crimson binary code flickers behind her eyes and crawls under her skin. 

Her muscles freeze up suddenly, and no matter how she tries to struggle her body won’t listen to her. The screams of agony that came so easily moments before die before they pass her lips. The crimson dims into a tangerine amber, and overlapping voices crowd in the back of her head but grow steadily louder. 

Hello, Wit. Those friends of yours are weighing you down, aren’t they? 

We can fix that. 

Marcy is good at games. Whether it’s RPGs or strategy or even just games of luck, she almost always wins. 

In first grade, she’d held her first Creatures & Caverns campaign for Anne and Sasha. They were all little kids and none of them had much idea of what they were doing, but it was fun because there was magic and explosions and Marcy enjoyed the math while Sasha enjoyed the action and Anne just thought seeing her two best friends smile was great. 

Marcy had crafted the most genius endgame villain, in her opinion (as it turned out, one of the party members was secretly evil - ooh! a horrible twist that no one saw coming!!), but unfortunately the game came to an end before the trio could finish, and the uncompleted campaign had never been brought to a close. 

But this is no tabletop RPG. This is just a flipwart board and pieces, the Amphibian equivalent to chess. 

Your move. Marcy, was it? 

Marcy looks up, trying to make out the outline of the thing she’s playing against, but all she can see are faintly-glowing orange eyes. 

She silently moves her pawn forward. Play by play, bit by bit, she and the thing across the table pick off each others’ defenses, moving in for the wart. 

Why did I almost call it the “wit” instead?

Because that’s what it is. A game of Wit. You must know which pieces to give up in order to win. You must make sacrifices to win. 

Now, why are you so attached to those two?

Marcy flinches at the Core’s question. Oh, right, that’s what this thing is called. 

“Why do you care?”

She moves a heron to take out one of the Core’s towers. As soon as she does, her opponent kills it off with their queen. 

We’re just curious. Sasha and Anne are very dear to you, are they not?

“...they are. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. They’re the only ones who stuck up for me and stuck with me no matter what I did wrong.”

She watches as the Core takes another one of her pawns. 

Why do you think they stopped? ...Who could love a traitor? it adds before Marcy can respond. 

“What do you mean?”

Don’t play dumb. They’re more than just friends to you.

For a moment it looks like the game is lost, but Marcy quickly moves in her queen to take out the Core’s attacking pieces. It’s a risky move, but one she has to take. 

“I...” She can’t think of anything to say. 

They’ve caused you such pain, the Core soothes. Why don’t you let them go? They had no trouble leaving you behind.

Marcy has almost no experience with emotions. She’s always been terrible at Valentine’s Day, and since she almost never receives any cards anyway, it’s not like it matters. 

She chooses not to think about when she’d blurted out to Sasha “I love you.” She tries not to think about how hot her cheeks get whenever Anne says something adorable. She can’t help but think about how happy the two girls made her, even when she did her best to convince herself they’d never love her back. 

The Core takes her queen. She has hardly any pieces left. 

“They’ll come back for me. I’m sure of it.” Even so, her voice wavers. 

Marcy remembers back when their school had a “fancy” day in seventh grade - it was no big deal, really, but Marcy had found the nicest suit she could and worn it. Sasha had left early that day, she couldn’t remember why. Anne was out sick. Even though everyone else in class had clothes just as extravagant as hers, she’d been picked on for wearing something that “wasn’t girly enough.” What did that even mean? 

Anne didn’t acknowledge the day at all. Sasha refused to talk about it. 

Wouldn’t it just be easier to forget about the pain they’ve caused you?

Marcy nods numbly. Maybe a little. When did she start crying? How can you even cry inside your own mind? 

Let us take it away. You won’t have to remember them anymore. 

Marcy eventually loses the game, the Core taking her wart. She was so close, too. 

“Why?” she whispers, tears streaming from her eyes. “Why would you do that for me?”

Why not? the figure sitting across from her finally materializes, and Marcy nearly chokes when she sees it’s her - except it’s not, because there’s a smile on its face she’d never be able to hold and its eyes are bright orange, the color of a sunset drenched in blood. Don’t think think it’s time to say goodbye to those childhood friends of yours? Say goodbye to the endless games...

Marcy blinks and finds herself in dark green liquid, steadily rising above her knees, her legs, her chest... 

...the troublesome emotions...

Wires and tubes weave around her, and she can see orange code pumping through them and tainting the water with a tangerine glow. 

...and the worrisome, distracting thoughts plaguing your mind?

The water rises to her head, covering her eyes. Something zips down her spine, a faint spark of memory, but she can’t remember anything else. 

We are the Core. And you are our host.

Green fades to orange fades to red fades to black. 

The thing that sits up in the chair with a few sickening cracks of its neck is not Marcy. Marcy is gone, too far gone for anyone to get her back. 

The Core smiles for the first time in millenia. 

“Why, hello there.”

[drrutherford]

amescastaignede​:

The affirmation made her suck in a quiet breath, completely taken away with how he managed to get her like this every time they were together. A combination of appreciation and nervousness.  

‘‘I, uh, I guess my evening would have looked the same if I hadn’t stopped by. Usually nights consist of writing or devouring as many books as humanly possible.’’ It was probably why she had little friends and those that she did were often on at her for not being sociable enough. Was it wrong to enjoy the comfort of silence. 

‘‘I’m — ‘‘ She’s always scared which was a sad though to comprehend. Did she want to tell this practical stranger that? She wasn’t so sure pursing her lips while brows furrowed while deep in thought, huffing through flared nostrils. ‘’Yeah, I guess I am. I’m.. trying to work on that side of things. Y’know, actually putting myself out there into the world instead of being terrified of everything…’’ A heavy sigh leaving her lips which was quickly followed with a breathless laugh. 

So far? … it hadn’t worked. Amélie still felt that sickening churn in her gut at the idea of socializing and putting herself out there for others to see. His question about church elicited a real laugh tumbling from nude painted lips. ‘’Yeah, it’s ran by the youth church group I attended as a kid, when I aged out I still volunteered and we began doing different drives to raise awareness of what was going on in the city.’’ It was one of the things she’d done in her life that she was truly proud of. Making a difference and attempting to give those that need it a second chance. Sometimes it weighed heavily on her, the thin line between good and evil in which she sat firmly on what she believed to be the ‘good’ side. 

It was mainly her naivety that fed into her beliefs but she meant well. 

‘‘A silly thought? A penny for it?’‘ 

It seemed what ever the car comment had been about had gone firmly over her head, offering a quirk of her mouth shrugging her shoulders while her feet fell into time with his on the side walk. For a moment she listened to the bustling city that was alive around them even as night fall began to descend. This was her home, warts and all. 

‘‘It’s…well, just a tube ride to, um, get us to Tower Hamlets.’‘ Amélie explained, a blush creeping along her cheek bones, remembering that she was once again in the proximity of the man who’d managed to occupy her thoughts more than she’d ever care to admit. ‘‘Its where we always start and everyone gets their assignments of where to go. I know I’m on coat and blanket duty tonight, so we’ll be getting to keep the people of London warm.’‘ 

.

“A Tube ride?? You know I could’ve taken us by car, right?” Gideon points out, careful to check any misdoubt in his tone. He doesn’t mind the Tube, really, but with evening settling over the city, he can think of safer ways of reaching the access points Amélie wants. Still, it’s the only other comment he makes about his car, opting to keep any further thoughts to himself lest she think him above public transportation. Besides, he’d much rather lend an ear to her experiences with volunteerism instead, curious to learn more about what she was like, growing up.

About two hours later, he’s valiantly hoisting a monster heap of coats and blankets while following around the little French lady, who seems perfectly at ease navigating the grimy streets of London in the dark, seeking out souls in need. He’s both quietly awed and somewhat put to shame by her; trying to imagine how many times she’s done this sort of work in order to seem so comfortable with it. 

The kind of charity that isn’t meant for the cameras... The kind of charity that truly helps those in need; with no gain, no attention, no false-modesty on the part of the Giver. It seems both a criticism of his own social echelon and a damning reflection of his individual inaction to be faced with a person like Amélie... Where Gideon normally has an over-abundance of ready remarks on his tongue, tonight, engaged in such an activity, he finds himself woefully short of words. Pensive instead, learning.

“Can you hand me a-”

Oh! Yea, right... Here you go.” He pulls himself from his thoughts as he shakes a coat out with one fist and hands it to Amelie, before discreetly studying the latest person she’s sought to help. An elderly woman with silvery-grey hair and weary eyes accepts the coat. Amélie turns to look at him expectantly and that’s when he realizes she’s waiting for the cheap spare sleeping bag he’s carrying beneath the pile of coats and blankets slung over his left arm. “Oops, my bad. Gimme a sec,” The Rutherford adds sheepishly, setting down his pile to free the sleeping bag and lay it out for the woman in need. “There you go, that should, uh... That should do it.”

After Amelie’s exchanged a few kind words with the woman (he’s no good at that part, for the life of him he can’t think what to say), they’re on their way again. Under the blinking streetlights and the almost uncanny quiet that surrounds them, save for the occasional sound of cars in the distance. Gideon ventures a question.

“So... Besides church and the religious aspect, what made you want to do this?"

There are so many trite, stereotypical, Miss Universe ‘I-Want-World-Peace’ answers to the question, but for some reason, the surgeon wants to hear Amelie’s answer.

Something tells him it’ll be different... Something tells him it’ll be real.

[extasiswings]

Get in, clowns.  We’re going to the circus.  On ao3.

Eddie’s palms are sweaty.

It’s warm outside, the sun beating down on the park bench where he’s sitting, but it’s the nerves that have his hands clammy as he turns his water bottle over between them.  

When Buck had walked in the house earlier, he’d taken one look at Eddie and rolled his eyes before shoving him back into his bedroom.

“You can’t wear that,” Buck said, rifling through Eddie’s dresser.  He emerged with Eddie’s tightest pair of jeans and shoved them at his chest before turning to the drawers with shirts.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Eddie asked, baffled as he looked down at himself and then, skeptically, at the jeans.

“You look like a dad.”  Buck’s voice went muffled for a moment before he made a noise of victory and pulled out a deep red, long-sleeved shirt that Eddie’s pretty sure is at least a size too small. 

“Kind of hard not to.  Since I am one and all.  That’s not exactly a secret.”

“Yeah, but you can look like a hot dad who is making an effort instead of a regular dad going to the grocery store or something.  You’ll thank me later.”  

After Eddie had changed and walked out of the bathroom, Buck’s face shifted—Eddie could have sworn his eyes darkened, that his voice was rougher as he pronounced Eddie much better.

So Eddie knows he looks good.

But his palms are still sweaty.  He uncaps the water bottle and takes a sip more to have something to do than because he needs it.  And then he starts drumming his fingers against his thigh, needing something to occupy them, some way to move.  

He’s tempted to pull out his phone, to reread the latest texts from Bobby or even the shameless teasing in the group text that Buck started with his sisters—and boy, was that a mistake, putting the three of them in touch, because Eddie never in a million years would have told them he was going on a date if he hadn’t done it by accident because Buck’s direct messages happened to be right below the group—

He’s still not sure he should be, is the thing.  Dating.  He still feels like he can’t quite breathe right when he thinks too hard about it.  Can still play that last dinner with Shannon over on loop, from her asking for a divorce to the implication that really being with him again would be so terrible she would have to run for the hills and leave their child behind.

He didn’t exactly have great self-esteem to begin with.

Eddie wipes his palms on his jeans—he’s in the middle of debating whether it’s bad parenting to make up an emergency involving your kid to get out of a date, when—

“Eddie!  Hi,” Ana greets, walking up the path.  

The anxiety in his chest twists tighter as he gets up from the bench and waves.

“Hey.  You, uh—you look really nice,” he says, because it’s true and also the easiest thing he can remember from the last time he did this.  

Ana smiles.  “So do you.”

There’s a pause that lingers a little too long and then they both start trying to speak at once, cutting off abruptly when they realize.  Eddie rubs self-consciously at the back of his neck.

“Should we walk?” Ana offers, nodding down the path where it leads into the trees.

“Sure, yeah,” Eddie agrees.  

It’s actually not...bad.  She asks him about work and that’s a safe enough topic that he’s comfortable spending a few minutes telling her stories from the station.  She shares a little about the challenges of virtual teaching.  And then she asks about Chris, and, well, that’s an easy subject—Eddie could talk about Chris all day.  

He just finishes the story about the actual building of Christopher’s skateboard—which involved no small amount of comical trial and error on the part of two decidedly not Chris-sized grown men—when Ana gets a thoughtful look on her face and glances sideways at him.

“Can I ask you something personal?”  She asks.

Eddie rocks back on his heels and hooks his thumbs in his pockets.  “Sure.”

“How long has it been for you?”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up.  “Since...the last time I dated?”

Ana nods.

“Well…” He wets his lips to stall.  “The last person I dated was my wife.  And I’m not sure it was really dating in the same way after we were married so...I guess...eleven years give or take?”

He laughs and he can hear the edge of self-deprecation.  “That obvious I’m out of practice?”

“No,” Ana says.  “No, that wasn’t—it’s really not actually. Although it does explain some things.”

“Things?”

She bites her lip.  “Nothing bad,” she insists.  “Just—”

“Have you ever been on a date where the other person talked about their ex the whole time and it was kind of obvious they still had feelings for them and you couldn’t help wondering why they weren’t with the ex when they clearly wanted to be?”  She asks.

Eddie blinks, scrolling back through their conversation trying to think—he’s pretty sure he hasn’t mentioned Shannon except for the once.  And he’s not still—

“In high school, maybe?” He answers.  “But I’m not sure—”

“I was trying to figure out if you and Buck ever dated,” she clarifies, and Eddie stops in his tracks, his mind shorting out as he takes that in.

“I—what?”

They’re back at the parking lot anyway, and although they could take another loop around the park, Ana stops by the closest bench and smiles as she leans against it.

“Look, I like you, Eddie,” she says.  “And if I’m totally off base and you want to see me again, I will definitely pick up the phone.  But if I’m not?  I couldn’t not say something.”

“Buck’s my best friend,” Eddie replies.  His head is swimming but it surprisingly doesn’t feel bad.  More like he’s been handed the clue card for a puzzle he was trying to solve and while the pieces haven’t quite come together fully, they’re getting there.

“You talk about him like he’s your partner.  Like the three of you are a family.  And when you talk about him you look like…”  Ana shakes her head and laughs, but it’s not unkind.  Just soft and maybe a little longing.  “I would love for someone to look like that when they’re talking about me.  Thinking about me.  So, I thought you should know.  Just in case you didn’t.”

Another puzzle piece falls into place and Eddie sucks in a breath.

“I do like you,” he says.

“Yeah...but you’re in love with him.  Right?”  Eddie’s quiet and Ana nods.

“I’m gonna go,” she decides.  “This was nice, for the record.  Maybe we can do it again.  As friends next time.”

“Ana—” Eddie calls after her.  When she looks back over her shoulder though, he’s not sure what to say except, “...thank you.”

“Let me know how it works out?” She asks.  “I’m a little invested now.”

Eddie laughs and runs a hand through his hair.  “Yeah...sure.”  

He drives home in a daze, so much of the past two years—maybe even longer—suddenly thrown into new light.  Everything he’s been afraid of, everything that’s been holding him back—all of the baggage and insecurities that Shannon left behind, that have made him feel like he’s not good enough, like he can’t be a partner to anyone—

He never stopped and looked too hard at what he already had.  What he was already doing.

What he has.  What he is doing.   

With Buck.

In the stark glare of hindsight, it’s easy to see—he was still married when they met, was worn down and bruised and not looking for anything.  He needed a friend and Buck slipped in to fill that void and Eddie...put him in a box.  Put them in a box.  Carefully compartmentalizing every aspect of his life because it was easier that way, because it allowed him to sort through the tangled knots of expectation from any number of other sides, any number of other identities—husband, father, son.

There was no baggage attached to friend.  No forgive and forget and take your wife back because kids need their mothers or you’ll drag him down with you or I wasn’t enough.

There was just...Buck.  Present.  Supportive.  Caring about him.  Believing in him.   The real him—masks off, walls down, warts and all.   

The longer Eddie thinks, the clearer things become.  His mind flips through memories like a scrapbook—panic attacks and phone calls at two in the morning, nights on the couch playing video games with Christopher and the slower, lingering moments with just the two of them after they put him to bed, all those months sharing a bed in Buck’s apartment while he despaired over being away from his son and Buck reminded him he was a good dad—

How many of those nights had Eddie wanted to kiss him?  How many times had he felt that buzz under his skin, the whisper of it would be so easy, only to shove it down because it was too dangerous to deal with.  

And when he thinks now about the future, about having someone in his home, in his bed, in his life, when he pictures it, all he can see is Buck.

It feels right.

“I love him,” Eddie says out loud, tasting the words on his tongue, letting them linger.

I love him.

His pulse spikes with his anxiety, but it calms down as he sits with it.  Because he knows Buck’s not going to leave.  He trusts that.  Buck’s seen him at his worst and none of that has ever driven him away.  So maybe…

Eddie’s mind flicks back to earlier in the day, to the dark heat in Buck’s gaze as it dragged over him before he looked away.

...yeah.  They’ll be okay.

He’s home before he even really registers and takes a few slow breaths before he shuts off the truck and gets out.  When he steps through the door, it’s a strange feeling.  The space is familiar but not.  More...settled somehow.  Home.

Home.

Eddie closes the door behind him and follows the sound of running water to the kitchen.  He stops in the doorway, leaning against the frame, and spends a moment just watching Buck scrub potatoes in the sink until the other man glances up and notices him.

“Hey,” Buck greets.  “Chris is reading in his room, I’m just working on dinner.  How was the date?”

God, I love you, Eddie thinks, and nearly has to bite his tongue to keep it to himself.

Yeah.  It’s right.

He shrugs.  “It was fine.  Ana’s nice.”

“When’s the next date then?”  There’s an odd note in Buck’s voice that makes Eddie push off the frame and step closer. 

“There’s not going to be one,” he replies.  “Ana’s nice...but I don’t want to date her.”

Buck stops.  Shuts off the water and turns, leaning back against the sink.

“No?”  Buck’s brow furrows.  “It’s not—do you still feel like you’re not ready?”

“No, it’s not that,” Eddie replies.  “I do think I’m ready.  But with the right person.”

His heart is pounding in his chest, but it’s not fear.  More...anticipation.  

He swallows hard.

“Ana said something that made me realize that...I don’t want to start from scratch with some stranger.”

Eddie takes another step closer and Buck inhales sharply, emotions shifting across his face too quickly for Eddie to name them all.

“Eddie…”  Buck sounds hoarse, a little disbelieving.  He leans forward for a moment before shaking his head, clearing his throat.

“I can’t—I need you to be specific,” he says.  “Because I can’t make assumptions here, I can’t—”

Eddie kisses him.  Steps in far enough that Buck’s body presses flush against his, slides his hand around the back of Buck’s neck, and kisses him.  Buck makes a small noise and grips him right back, his hands curving around Eddie’s hips nearly tight enough to bruise in sharp contrast to the way Eddie’s mouth feathers against his, soft as anything.  

“Specific enough?”  Eddie breathes, staying close enough that their lips brush again.  Buck surges up and uses his grip on Eddie’s hips to turn them, pinning Eddie against the counter as he kisses him again in response.  Once, twice, three times, and Eddie shivers.  

He hasn’t been kissed in so long, hasn’t been touched with intention like this—he’d forgotten what it felt like.  His body floods with heat as Buck’s hands slip under his shirt, spreading wide over his rib cage, and he parts his lips eagerly for Buck’s tongue.

Down the hall, a door closes, and Buck jumps back, Eddie slumping against the counter to keep himself upright.  Buck is flushed and panting and Eddie’s pretty sure he can’t look much better, too warm and electric, wanting, wanting, wanting—

Both of them catch their breath and watch the door, but Christopher doesn’t appear.  After a minute Eddie catches the faint sound of a toilet flushing and he looks back at Buck.  

And he laughs.  It bubbles up from his chest like champagne fizz, bright and warm and right, and apparently it’s contagious because Buck starts up as well, stepping in again and sliding his arms around Eddie’s waist, ducking his head to laugh breathlessly against Eddie’s neck.

When they calm down, Buck stays close, his lips feathering over Eddie’s pulse.  Eddie hums and closes his eyes as he tips his head back to give Buck better access.  

“I’m in love with you,” he says.  “In case that wasn’t clear.”

Buck’s lips curve up against Eddie’s skin.

“Well that’s convenient,” he replies.  “Since Chris was asking me earlier why you couldn’t just date me if you were going to date again.”

Eddie’s startled into another laugh.  “Really?”

“Really.”

Eddie grins and opens his eyes again.  “Hey Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“Go out with me?”

Buck snorts and pushes him out of the way so he can go back to the potatoes.  

“Help me finish getting dinner together and we’ll see.”  But the second Eddie turns away, Buck snags him by a belt loop and reels him back in for another kiss.

“Yes,” Buck says.  “Yes.”

And it’s right.           

[meggs-benedict]

do you have any herb x spinach headcanons?

SoRRY AGAIN!! I was actually supposed to respond to ur previous message but i forgot to save it as a draft dnnsndnd

BUT YES I DO GARDEN BABIES

i love me some rare pairs

Herb Cookie and Spinach Cookie ! 👇

🪴 Being influenced by Spinach, Herb’s crazy about being healthy and staying fit. He absolutely loves warm and sunny days especially during his morning jogs or tending for his garden. He keeps a journal of happy thoughts or vents to keep his mental well being in check. That’s why he finds the beauty and goodness in most things and he’s almost in a good mood all the time, even at work! Though despite his calm, shy and collected nature, he WILL scream if you tap him on the shoulder or just surprise him in general LOL.

🪴 Herb’s very well-rounded when dealing with kids and sometimes he’s been asked to babysit! He does and let’s the kids play around his yard or by the plant market’s gardens. Reason for this is because he has custody over his adopted little brother, Pancake Cookie! He loves him dearly! He also has a biological sibling that lives by the Kingdom’s shores and docks named Peppermint Cookie. They visit the markets and gardens every now and then, but Herb, being a worry wart that he is, insists they should stay nearby the markets since it’s safer. Pep says it’s okay since they know their mother is always there to protect them from the seas.

🪴Herb may be a friendly and welcoming person, but you wouldn’t dare provoke him. He could easily snap you in half. He’ll also make you never come anywhere near any plant ever again. He’s a killer at arm-wrestling and at some point, he challenged Vampire to an arm wrestling match. Needless to say, he won without an issue and Vamp was pulverized LOL.

🥬 Spinach is a hard working woman amongst the vegetable family, running a chain business pretty much on her own. She’s very diligent in keeping her workers in check, but at the same time would grow a connection with them. She’s not just your boss, but she’s also your mom and will make you rest and eat your veggies when needed. Her motto may go along the lines of “we’re not just workers, we’re a family!” and she wants all of them to cooperate and help eachother out/get along! It’s the key on how she makes her business successful. Making it fun and very close-knitted!

🥬Spinach absolutely loves the cottagecore aesthetic and pretty much lives in a farmhouse type of home by the forests near her workplace. She has plants EVERYWHERE in her home and even some animals she kept as pets. Her home decor is pretty much as natural as you can get, hell it’s pretty much merged with a tree. All she really pays for is water and wifi. Her wardrobe consists of her typical uniform, aprons, summer dresses and hats and etc.

🥬Sadly Spinach suffers a chronic illness that causes her to rot and wilt when she doesn’t take care of herself or is under an overwhelming amount of stress. More the reason why she works out, eats healthy, and is always in a happy mood. It pretty much keeps her alive in sense that if she doesn’t tend for her health that way, it’s over. It’s a manageable lifestyle she was able to maintain without an issue. But of course the rotten apples in her workforce can push her over the edge and can get her really ill.

🪴🥬 Spinach and Herb actually live together in their little farmhouse! Herb helped decorate the place! They share a room with a little balcony in it too so they can rest together in the hammock outside when the weather is just right. Herb also does the cooking while Spinach is the one with the license LOL.

🪴🥬 Call him a simp if you want but Herb can be a tad overprotective with Spinach. Mostly because he knows about her illness and has seen her being mistreated before over paychecks. He’d absolutely hate the world if his gorgeous flower wilts since.. she’s the reason he’s ever here living his best to begin with.

🪴🥬 Spinach and Herb actually found Pancake abandoned near by one of the market’s stalls all crying and hungry. They both decided to take him in and give him a home! Pancake doesn’t really see them as parents or anything, he sees Spinach as the awesomely annoying wife of his annoying simp of a big brother, Herb LOL. He loves them both though! Just not when they make him eat veggies.